असेच काहीतरी

I think i am the worst boyfriend on the earth who has told his girlfreind that he just likes her and still has not started loving her. why do i do this ? Even though i know that it might hurt her. and when she has told me that she has started loving me. Am i acting mad? why dont i understand that its not easy to have a loving wife.. and i am here just wasting it and ignoring the loving emotions of my would be wife. She is just fine with the relationship then what holds me back? she surely is beautiful girl.she is bit short but how that affects what she is. moreover i knew that from begining(that she is bit short). then what is that is bothering me in this relationship. is she not witty? is that the cause? i find the dialogues between us a bit monotonous sometimes. however recently i can point out certain things which excited me abt her.. i did not expect her to do thise certain things and i was happily mesmerised by it when she told me . she mentioned how she used to cheat the big queues at petrol pump. i found her smart for that . i , in my lifetime wouldnt have done this on my own :) so funny ..she mentioned about the list that she is preparing for the list of things to do for marriage. I should have shown some more interest at least.was it really the bad movie? or am i just not getting the feeling of marriage?
i admit that she is good at the dress sense. she really understands what looks good on her. and may be looks good on me too:) girls do have this quality in them :)but surely she has mastered it. thats why when she mentioned she is confused for the first time ( when we went together for shopping first time)i didnt understand why she was confused.. when she is so good at it.

Marriage Jitters

प्रत्येकाच्य आयुषात ही वेळ कधी न कधी येतेच पण ही अशी येते म्हणून तिचे महत्व जरा देखिल कमी होता नहीं लग्न आयुष्यातील एक महत्वाचा टप्पा अहो महत्वाचा कसला आय्य्श्यतला एकमेव टप्पा म्हटले तरी चालेल ॥या टप्प्यावर येई पर्यंत असले असले टप्पे पाहिलेले असतात की आपला देखिल एखादा टप्पा असावा असे वाटत रहते ( टीप : ज्याना टप्पा हा typical बोली भाषे मधला हा शब्द माहिती नहीं त्यानी आपले ज्ञान तपासून पहावे )॥मी hi सर्व सामान्य प्रमाने या विधि लिखित ,समाज मान्या या अनुभूति तुन जात आहे ॥ arranged marraiges are something on which N number of things can be written( N number of times)। Pu la नी अणि eतर लेखकानी एवढे लिहून ठेवले आहे तरी आपले विचार मंद्न्य साथी मज़े ही हात अस्सुस लेले आहेत ॥आयुष्यात माला स्वताच्या decisions बढ़ल नेहमीच खात्रि वाटत आली आहे. मला माज्ह्या decisions ची responisbility घ्यावी वाटते . भले ते चुकीचे का ठरले असेनात. पण या वेळी मन कचारते आहे. eथे माजे एक्त्याचे आयुष्य प्रभावित नहीं तर कामित कमी 3 आयुष्य प्रभावित होणार आहेत.. ही तीन पात्रे म्हणजे दस्तूर खुद्दा आम्ही, आमच्या आयुष्यात येणारी ते
कन्या रत्न आणि आमच्या मातोश्री . किती ही वेळ विचार केला तरी एकदम खात्री शीर असा एक ही मार्ग सापडत नहीं कधी वाटते बायको कशी सुन्दर असावी . distakshani प्रेमात पदान्या सारखी असावी तास an तास बघत रहावे अशी असावी . pan पुढच्याच moment वाटते एवढी सुन्दर असेल तर तिला चिक्कार मिल्तिल ॥ कदाचित मी ही त्यात असें ॥ पण काय भरवसा द्यावा की तिच्या आपल्यातला interest कायम राहिल म्हणून ॥ बच्चन साहेबांचा एक picture आठवला की लगेच गाडी ला break लागतो ॥ विचार दुसर्या track वार जातात बायको नोकरी करणारी असावी .भले अप्सरा नसेल थोड़ी च सुन्दर असेल ( kamchalavu) तरी चालेल .. शेवटी tond बघून पोत थोड़े च भरते . पण kaahi बोल गड्या हे काही खरे नहीं पोत नसले भर ले तरी मन तरी भरते .. पोत काय भरता येइल ch पण मन भरन्य साथी काय दुसर्यां च्या बायका शोधत बसायच्या काय .. तें वा सवारी या निष्कार शास आली आहे की काही जाले तरी बायको सुन्दर असलीच पाहीजे...आता एक निकष पक्का होतो न होतो तोच दूसरा तेवढ्याच वेगाने धावत पुढे येतो..बायको असावी तर नोकरी करणार .. थोड adjustment करावी लागेल, तिच्या अड़चन समजुन घ्याव्य लागतील, पण हरकत नाही. दिवस भर घरी राहून अणि घरी बसून रोज़ रोज़ आपली वाट बघण्यात धन्यता मान्नारया बायको पेक्षा स्वताचे व्यक्तिमत्व असणारी कितित्तरी पट चांगली

Early meetings

i met this girl yogita. standard/routine process to meet in CCD just to know each other a bit in order to take a major decision in life. we met couple of times infact 3-4 times. each time i met her i guess her brother was with her. he did most of the talking. she however had told that she is not that talkative.both of us not that talktive, i didnt know how that was supposed to work.somewhere i knew however that once i will be comfortable there will be dialogue between us. we shared few things , few experiences with each other. i finally thought its time that my mom should meet her. the patrika thing was there to mock me .it was not matching. the stars were not giving us a go ahead from their end. but i had not beleived in that. never had i beleoved that stars are actually able to guide you in such a complex decision. i was of opinion that you simply can not generalise the process of match making. it has to be on individual basis. well i didnt know the exact moment when i decided that yes she can be my better half. but somewhere i think i decided to give it a shot.our families met. they formalised the wedding. and we started meeting regularly.even after we had done this,for first few days i was still talking to ppl who had called me for matrimonial purpose. i didnt know what was wrong with me. clearly i wasnt commited.why was i having this dilemma. i didnt have a small clue. again sometime during the process, i stopped taking calls from the other matrimonial proposals. i had convinced myself to that level that yes i have chosen my life partner. meanwhile i was very eager to know if one gets the feeling of "made for each other". To my surprise, none of my friends/colleagues mentioned to me that it is possible, it is needed. i
was little surprised and understood that its a ground reality. you simply can not have this happen overnight or in a course of few days. "Made for each other" is thing to be developed , need to be felt by the sheer "sahawas"
i took my time to delete the contacts from my mobile which i already had fordifferent proposals. I got a feeling that I am cutting ropes one by one so that i do not have option to turn back. I was doing so to convince myself that there isnt any option to get away from the option i have chosen and go to other proposals। To me it would have been a bigger cheating ॥ not just to Yogita and her family, but even for myself as well. Iliked yogita's family members. Especially i liked her mother. to certain extent her father as well. Didnt get a chance to know her sister better though. but i undestood that these ppl really care for each other. Iwas happy to get connected to such family. there came the part of the give n take stuff. the routine marriage finalisation stuff. I had my heart beating faster when there was a clear cut question if the opposite side has liked the groom. there was not clear answer. nobody answered it in a single word. my heart was beating so fast that i could not remember what was the response talk the girl's side had initiated in response of the formal question. but I knew for sure that there was not a clear "YES". i thought this is how the procedure may be..but that surely got captured in the corner of my mind.