असेच काहीतरी

I think i am the worst boyfriend on the earth who has told his girlfreind that he just likes her and still has not started loving her. why do i do this ? Even though i know that it might hurt her. and when she has told me that she has started loving me. Am i acting mad? why dont i understand that its not easy to have a loving wife.. and i am here just wasting it and ignoring the loving emotions of my would be wife. She is just fine with the relationship then what holds me back? she surely is beautiful girl.she is bit short but how that affects what she is. moreover i knew that from begining(that she is bit short). then what is that is bothering me in this relationship. is she not witty? is that the cause? i find the dialogues between us a bit monotonous sometimes. however recently i can point out certain things which excited me abt her.. i did not expect her to do thise certain things and i was happily mesmerised by it when she told me . she mentioned how she used to cheat the big queues at petrol pump. i found her smart for that . i , in my lifetime wouldnt have done this on my own :) so funny ..she mentioned about the list that she is preparing for the list of things to do for marriage. I should have shown some more interest at least.was it really the bad movie? or am i just not getting the feeling of marriage?
i admit that she is good at the dress sense. she really understands what looks good on her. and may be looks good on me too:) girls do have this quality in them :)but surely she has mastered it. thats why when she mentioned she is confused for the first time ( when we went together for shopping first time)i didnt understand why she was confused.. when she is so good at it.

Marriage Jitters

प्रत्येकाच्य आयुषात ही वेळ कधी न कधी येतेच पण ही अशी येते म्हणून तिचे महत्व जरा देखिल कमी होता नहीं लग्न आयुष्यातील एक महत्वाचा टप्पा अहो महत्वाचा कसला आय्य्श्यतला एकमेव टप्पा म्हटले तरी चालेल ॥या टप्प्यावर येई पर्यंत असले असले टप्पे पाहिलेले असतात की आपला देखिल एखादा टप्पा असावा असे वाटत रहते ( टीप : ज्याना टप्पा हा typical बोली भाषे मधला हा शब्द माहिती नहीं त्यानी आपले ज्ञान तपासून पहावे )॥मी hi सर्व सामान्य प्रमाने या विधि लिखित ,समाज मान्या या अनुभूति तुन जात आहे ॥ arranged marraiges are something on which N number of things can be written( N number of times)। Pu la नी अणि eतर लेखकानी एवढे लिहून ठेवले आहे तरी आपले विचार मंद्न्य साथी मज़े ही हात अस्सुस लेले आहेत ॥आयुष्यात माला स्वताच्या decisions बढ़ल नेहमीच खात्रि वाटत आली आहे. मला माज्ह्या decisions ची responisbility घ्यावी वाटते . भले ते चुकीचे का ठरले असेनात. पण या वेळी मन कचारते आहे. eथे माजे एक्त्याचे आयुष्य प्रभावित नहीं तर कामित कमी 3 आयुष्य प्रभावित होणार आहेत.. ही तीन पात्रे म्हणजे दस्तूर खुद्दा आम्ही, आमच्या आयुष्यात येणारी ते
कन्या रत्न आणि आमच्या मातोश्री . किती ही वेळ विचार केला तरी एकदम खात्री शीर असा एक ही मार्ग सापडत नहीं कधी वाटते बायको कशी सुन्दर असावी . distakshani प्रेमात पदान्या सारखी असावी तास an तास बघत रहावे अशी असावी . pan पुढच्याच moment वाटते एवढी सुन्दर असेल तर तिला चिक्कार मिल्तिल ॥ कदाचित मी ही त्यात असें ॥ पण काय भरवसा द्यावा की तिच्या आपल्यातला interest कायम राहिल म्हणून ॥ बच्चन साहेबांचा एक picture आठवला की लगेच गाडी ला break लागतो ॥ विचार दुसर्या track वार जातात बायको नोकरी करणारी असावी .भले अप्सरा नसेल थोड़ी च सुन्दर असेल ( kamchalavu) तरी चालेल .. शेवटी tond बघून पोत थोड़े च भरते . पण kaahi बोल गड्या हे काही खरे नहीं पोत नसले भर ले तरी मन तरी भरते .. पोत काय भरता येइल ch पण मन भरन्य साथी काय दुसर्यां च्या बायका शोधत बसायच्या काय .. तें वा सवारी या निष्कार शास आली आहे की काही जाले तरी बायको सुन्दर असलीच पाहीजे...आता एक निकष पक्का होतो न होतो तोच दूसरा तेवढ्याच वेगाने धावत पुढे येतो..बायको असावी तर नोकरी करणार .. थोड adjustment करावी लागेल, तिच्या अड़चन समजुन घ्याव्य लागतील, पण हरकत नाही. दिवस भर घरी राहून अणि घरी बसून रोज़ रोज़ आपली वाट बघण्यात धन्यता मान्नारया बायको पेक्षा स्वताचे व्यक्तिमत्व असणारी कितित्तरी पट चांगली

Early meetings

i met this girl yogita. standard/routine process to meet in CCD just to know each other a bit in order to take a major decision in life. we met couple of times infact 3-4 times. each time i met her i guess her brother was with her. he did most of the talking. she however had told that she is not that talkative.both of us not that talktive, i didnt know how that was supposed to work.somewhere i knew however that once i will be comfortable there will be dialogue between us. we shared few things , few experiences with each other. i finally thought its time that my mom should meet her. the patrika thing was there to mock me .it was not matching. the stars were not giving us a go ahead from their end. but i had not beleived in that. never had i beleoved that stars are actually able to guide you in such a complex decision. i was of opinion that you simply can not generalise the process of match making. it has to be on individual basis. well i didnt know the exact moment when i decided that yes she can be my better half. but somewhere i think i decided to give it a shot.our families met. they formalised the wedding. and we started meeting regularly.even after we had done this,for first few days i was still talking to ppl who had called me for matrimonial purpose. i didnt know what was wrong with me. clearly i wasnt commited.why was i having this dilemma. i didnt have a small clue. again sometime during the process, i stopped taking calls from the other matrimonial proposals. i had convinced myself to that level that yes i have chosen my life partner. meanwhile i was very eager to know if one gets the feeling of "made for each other". To my surprise, none of my friends/colleagues mentioned to me that it is possible, it is needed. i
was little surprised and understood that its a ground reality. you simply can not have this happen overnight or in a course of few days. "Made for each other" is thing to be developed , need to be felt by the sheer "sahawas"
i took my time to delete the contacts from my mobile which i already had fordifferent proposals. I got a feeling that I am cutting ropes one by one so that i do not have option to turn back. I was doing so to convince myself that there isnt any option to get away from the option i have chosen and go to other proposals। To me it would have been a bigger cheating ॥ not just to Yogita and her family, but even for myself as well. Iliked yogita's family members. Especially i liked her mother. to certain extent her father as well. Didnt get a chance to know her sister better though. but i undestood that these ppl really care for each other. Iwas happy to get connected to such family. there came the part of the give n take stuff. the routine marriage finalisation stuff. I had my heart beating faster when there was a clear cut question if the opposite side has liked the groom. there was not clear answer. nobody answered it in a single word. my heart was beating so fast that i could not remember what was the response talk the girl's side had initiated in response of the formal question. but I knew for sure that there was not a clear "YES". i thought this is how the procedure may be..but that surely got captured in the corner of my mind.

Its fun........

One Two Three  Five Six Seven.....

This is how they count it when they do it... at very first it seems very annoying and you bet it is annoying... Because it takes you away.. far away from your basics you have been following throughout your life... as a human.. but you can not ignore it ...because its a fresh new start of a whole new basics !

As a kid ,you must have gave your mom the happiest moments in her life when you took that fist little baby step. Later on she must have encouraged and taught you to take lot many of those and as a result, here you are today  walking , running and jogging on your own feet.. but now its time to learn the new basics .. If you follow new way of doing it in a graceful way, it is surely gonna give you the happiest moments of your life.  You can still do it in the baby steps to start with..

Your teacher must be the happiest teacher when you uttered those counts correctly for the first time and you must have  scored full marks when you counted them correctly till ten. 

But don't worry. Now you have to count till just eight and that to by skipping four and eight.. you deserve a rest at four and eight..that's just 6 numbers and two rests..

Its altogether a new count system now.. you need to learn it and mould yourself in that in order to master it.

If these hundred words have created an image in your mind about that something which i am talking about then its worth it!!!. but if you still don't have a clue what rubbish  i am talking about then its time for you to read the next word very carefully.. 

Salsa

Yes, the Latin American dance which has caught my attention recently. Salsa - spanish word for sauce connoting a spicy flavour. Thanks to the worst english weather we have here ... It kills the urge in you to live .. coz u are just earning more and more bucks without literally sweating ... I mean staying here has its own challenges and one of it is to cope with the bad english weather and survive it with grace.. May be that was the trigger to the expedition Salsa..whatever it was !  I thank it.

I always belive that you always need to have something in life to look forward to .. otherwise no matter how rich you are, life is not worth living!!. I am looking forward to learn Salsa .. and do it gracefully..Recently I watched the movie Shall we dance... a beautiful movie for the ones who are passionate about dance and for those too who are not so into dance. In short its  for everyone who wants to understand whats the happiness is all about..

Well its just first few lessons I have learnt till now.. hope to explore the beauty further !!

Men Do Cry

Who says men don't cry.....Men do cry.. they cry a lot.. they cry dil se..... Its a big tragedy that people around see that as a weakness of a man.. but sometimes men have to cry.. yes even publicly... When some one like our own Roger Federer cries , we understand it better.

When you begin to lose your empire and can not do anything but watch it helplessly, you have to cry. You need to accept the defeat open hearted... Some says its an end of Federer Era.. it could be.. I myself was crying(not literally though) while watching Roger lose the game...Roger fought like a true sportsperson.. after all Tennis means life to him.. If some new blood is taking his thrown from him, he had to do all he could to save it..When he first lost against Nadal, he appreciated the opponent as like any good sportsperson.. and believe me he must have practiced like hell , must have watched the match he lost 1000 times.. but alas !!!  ... all his efforts came to an end when he could not believe Nadal taking his dream away from him.. and Roger cried ..literally..... 

I googled crying and it gave me a list of famous male figures who cried publicly in history... .. typically all from western countries.... Hence I gave up the option.. I looked back in our own history... Remember the Gujarat riot face ! it was a true symbol of the pain people went through during Gujarat riots.. you wont believe the crying face belonged to a man..

I can immediately recall Nana Patekar in some movie and Om Puri in some other movie crying literally in some intense dramatic scene.. I had believed it then.. 

Generally women cry a lot.. may be that's how they keep their emotional balance everyday .. or may be they use it as a weapon to get an edge in the arguments, crying always is an ACE for them.. but somehow men are not allowed to cry.. WTF !!!

Haven't you seen a father cry when her daughter departs !

Haven't you seen a man cry when he sees his baby for the first time !

Haven't you seen a man cry when he loses his family in some riots or accidents !

Haven't you seen a man who cry when the girl, he think as his life, simply dumps him for some rich!

I don't know where all the animals cry or not.. But I certainly understand that a creature like human who is more emotional and has developed bonds with the surroundings has a right to cry..

 

Have you cried in your life?? ........

If you are a girl/woman, this question may not be worth asking.. but if you are a man and haven't cried in life then u are yet to experience a lot of life...

They say extreme grief laughs and extreme joy cries.. 

I hope you get to experience both of them.. lets not keep crying limited to any gender! ...

Lets live the life to the fullest .. Lets hope to cry !

Life

Its my Birth day today.. I thought of writing some stuff just for me and myself which I believe when I will read sometime later I will feel happy about.I have this bad habit of stretching the sentences longer than a normal or average ones. Any way lets keep that aside.Its not about my birth day and how the day went by stuff I am writing here... I am just grabbing this chance to fulfil my desire of writing.. I am a strong believer that for one to succeed, one need to start today and now.everybody has his or her own good way of justifying the things happening in his or her life. I turned 30 today.. I believe I can live at least 90 years i.e. 60 more years.. lets keep last 30 years aside which gives me next slot of 30 years to taste unexplored flavours of life.
In recent couple of years I have gained the confidence which I was struggling to gain for 20 years before. I am always a good performer but that never gave me the confidence that I can achieve anything I want in life. But I have learned to learn the things over the period now. I always believe that everyone is a good person. its your comfort level with that person makes you think that he or she is good or average Friend of yours. I think that's what they call wavelength match..
its not religion, its not a certain habit, its not your financial status or its not gender.. a person may click to you irrespective of all these points. that is compatibility. I am thinking of getting married now. I am ready for it. but when i think of it , i feel its so controlled by the chance that you are left with no other choice. you have to choose from the available options.. Finding a compatible within available options is very tough job. I always wonder how people can cope with this pressure. I get tensed to select a life partner. Its not a easy decision. and you are alone..
Boss you are on your own..
Quality of life if it is to be judged, i believe it lies in the instances you can recall and enjoy without again doing the same act. Just the memory is sufficient for you to celebrate the same joy again and again.
An interesting life is always eventful.. eventful life is always colorful. Combinations of the various colours produce a picture in itself. Each time you add a new activity you create enormous amount of the permutations for an eventful colourful life for you.
I like being emotional. After all emotions differentiate human beings from the living beings. Humans are the only gifted creature on the earth who can deal with this complexity created by themselves.I can not tolerate the non emotional. Drama is not always something I prefer but i have learnt that its a human tendency to get attracted to drama. I am no different.
Being complacent is I am afraid of. It drives urge in me to try out different things in life.
I have started believing in myself these days.. God I am in my own control...I know when I try a new thing I am confident that I am not a slave to the new stuff.. God know one day i may try cocaine or other 'Nasha' I wanted to be part of the politics too. Some day I will start my own business too. God knows I might go for world tour or might live in jungle for some part of my life.
I guess this is a blog with random thoughts about life..my instance of life..